Boylerpf

03 August 2009

Perception...just how blind am I?

I love these illusions where the mind and eye play funny tricks. The checkered sphere in the front is the same size as the one in the back but our eyes deceive us. That just can't be so..that's not what I see!

I've been away from the blogging world for a few days...had to go to a wedding shower. In this neck of the woods, that means a long drive to somewhere which would entail a minimum of several hours there and what seems like even more on the way back. Well, that means that I needed to have something other than my grubby khakis and polo shirt to wear. I went scrounging around in the closet, come out with a couple of things and try them on for the DH. We have this great mirror at the bottom of our stair landing that is perfect for seeing how something looks...at least I thought it was!

"Hon? What do you think of this skirt? I think it makes me look really wide."
Without raising his head from the computer, "Looks really good...you know, I've always told you that I thought you were gorgeous."
Not to be deterred by a flippant comment when I know darn well he hasn't looked, I trudge upstairs and try another.

"Hon? How about these pants and shirt? What do you think?" I'm seeing that 5 acre spread I've always wanted.. it just didn't come in the form of land. It's been at least 3-4 years since I've had them on and for the life of me..I didn't remember them hugging the side of my thighs that way when I used to wear them.
"Looks really good...you'll have a hard choice." Still not raising his head from the computer.
"Come over here and really give me your honest opinion...you're not even looking!!!" pouty face me blurting out.

He stands behind me and I swear, it was like looking at the two of us in one of those weird mirrors. "You see, I am looking and you are just as gorgeous as the day I met you!! And no, you don't have a five acre spread!"

Our self image gets so caught up in what we see in magazines, through the internet and on TV. Looking in a mirror, I see the age creeping in, everything heading south and just not "looking" like I did when I was younger. My perception of how I looked was strictly on the outside and a skewed one at that where my husband was seeing from the inside..the real person and not the reflection I was seeing in the mirror.

How many times do we look at ourselves in the mirror or see someone on the street and miss the real person only because we perceive ourselves or them just in the outward appearance? Add another thing to my list of to do's...use my perception to attain awareness and understanding of really what is inside and not just what we see on the outside.
Hope your Monday is fantastic!

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22 comments:

Hit 40 said...

I kept reading thinking that maybe you were standing behind him nude or in lingerie the second time to see if he is even taking a glance at you!! Although then you would have probably had to give up maybe 5 minutes for a quickie!! You made the mature non ADD choice!!

briannelee said...

That is a good lesson for the day :)

I'm Julia said...

1. Men are silly creatures.

2. "Skinny mirrors" are best (you know, the kind that seem to take 5 lbs off for some strange reason)

3. Perception is the key to everything. We should all look deeper, just as you say.

4. I always enjoy your posts :-)

Pretty Little World said...

I'm completely guilty of doing this, and I'm trying to be better about it. I read an article somewhere (albeit probably not somewhere scientific) that was written by a guy who thought his girlfriend was perfect -- until he spent long enough listening to her complain about her figure. Then he began to see imperfections that he never would have noticed before, or had he, never would have been bothered by.

So I'm trying to do a lot better with just being satisfied...but that's sometimes easier said than done!!

Wonderful post, as always!!

Jenny said...

This post is absolutely lovely and a wonderful reminder...and a perfect way to start the week. Thank you.

Sarah said...

Yes... have been struggling with this one too..the OMG I look like my Mom factor..who is that woman in the mirror!! I want to look younger..then again..I would trade the young look for the wise part now..yikes you couldn't pay me to go back to my 20's!! Wonderful, thought provoking post hon!!
Namaste, Sarah

Sandra said...

Alicia I'm beyond perception and have moved into resignation! Your husband is worth hanging onto.

drollgirl said...

your husband is so in love with you! he is so sweet!

i have one of those boyfriend's that rarely RARELY gives compliments. he says he only gives them when he means it, so not getting them gives me a double complex. bah! it is all confusing. or maybe i just have a fuzzy brain on monday!

TheChicGeek said...

Great post, Alicia. So often we beat ourselves up with negative self-talk....just imagine standing in front of the mirror and saying, wow, I am a beautiful woman, look at me. I love you!
I have done this and it actually works! When I feel bad I say, "I love you Kelly" and I give myself a hug...LOL Words and thoughts are powerful!
Now, if only I can find a sweet husband to tell me the same I'll really be in business!

Have a Great Day!

Relyn said...

I think most women really struggle with seeing themselves honestly. The good news is that you can think you look better than you do, and that honestly works, too. ;^)

noble beeyotch said...

"You see, I am looking and you are just as gorgeous as the day I met you!! And no, you don't have a five acre spread"

- that is so damn sweet! I am jealous, but in a good way!

beth said...

that happened tonight actually...
my kids and a bunch of their friends were all together for a photo at a restaurant and when I looked back at the photo I was mortified....here I was wearing an outfit I thought looked cute and summery cool only to see that in a photo it looked like I was 6 months pregnant....arghhhh !

perception is amazing thing when it comes to our bodies !

alissa said...

appearance is so deceiving - and sometimes the setting (like the image above) makes all the difference!

LENORENEVERMORE said...

Great post!
Helooo...my name is guilty! or perhaps was!
I've chosen to be a better person now, choose to bless rather than 'curse'. Your hubby is so special indeed...

Lovely week! xo*

lyptis said...

Thats weird, with the mirror..

But i know these problems, both of them, seeing urself in a mirror can make u very critical and the men not listening!
Its all, "Yeah, u look great!" Which is nice in a way, coz they dont even need looking, but its kindof still pathetic coz they dont even bother.

Im sure u looked fabulous, whatever u chose to wear!:)

Brian Miller said...

you make a great point...too often we see what we expect to see not what really is, because sometimes that takes a second look.

Karen said...

I avoid looking in mirrors especially after looking at fashion magazines, lol! It's true - what you have been looking at becomes the norm.
Your husband sounds like a smart man, he's figured out the answer to a very hard question.
Karen
Charmings Collectibles

Hello Lindello said...

amen!

Purple Daisy Jewelry said...

Great thought provoking blog - as usual. And, your husband is a keeper which I am sure you know by now. :)

Vintage Inspired Jewelry said...

What a lovely post. Take care..Kathi

Liss said...

I hat looking at photographs of myself and I know many other women that do too. I think we are too hard on ourselves but not sure how to undo so many years of brainwashing by magazines and society.

I head something funny on the radio today. That is a study has been complied and found men spent 45 minutes a day looking at women (not into their eyes either).

Nancy said...

Good point. I have to remind myself of this quite often.