Yakety, Yak..Don't talk back!

Gossip is idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.

I have this image in my head of playing telephone when I was young...the game where two tin cans were linked together with a string and one person said something and who knows what was heard at the other end. We all gossip at one time or another..I know, you're blushing right now. It's the most common and oldest way of sharing facts or views. The view part is what gets all of us into trouble and where the rumor part comes in. The views are wide open to errors and speculation which can harm the person being gossiped about. Trivial drivel I like to call it.

Now here's the kicker. Did you know that studies have shown that when someone attributes positive or negative traits to someone else, the listener will often attribute those same traits to the speaker. They call it "spontaneous trait transference." While you're telling someone something negative or positive about another person, that listener is subconsciously attributing that trait on to you.

Nearly everyone gossips...it's human nature, right? People just like to talk about other people. Wouldn't it be better to say something good or wait till you hear it from "the horse's mouth" as the saying goes? I know...easier said than done. Be careful of the statements you make - they might bounce back and stick to you!
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Comments

Hit 40 said…
Oh... I do put the comments back on the person. And, I usually wonder what the heck they say about me!!!
SoDear2MyHeart said…
I struggle with this from time to time...and I honestly try not to join in...especially if its mean spirited or hurtful....

HOWEVER, there are those rare moments when there's someone who's been "eating your lunch"...you're curled up in the corner of your favorite chair, with a good hot cup of coffee and on the phone with one of your closest friends...one who'll guard your secrets with their life...and to them, you unload YOUR side of the story...it's simply delicious!

It can be quite cathartic... venting to a good friend is a great stress reducer...it gets things off of your chest... especially if you know it will go no further... Hmmmm...seems I've been there a few times! Everyone needs one person they can "gossip" or "vent" to...be it a friend, a mom, a sister... I think it keeps more of us sane and from choking the living $hit out of someone who truly deserves it...

Now off to "tweet" the giveaway...
Isn't it amazing - seems like we fundamentally know at some deep level about projection - that our judgments about others are often projections of what we are unable to own about ourselves. And, as you say, as listeners we clue in. Buddhist philosophy suggests in a moment when we catch ourselves judging another, that we say " . . . and I am that too . . .". What you are saying Alicia is that our listeners are saying "and you are that too"!

I included a note about your giveaway on my latest post. Hope lots of people get to enjoy the anticipation of possibly receiving your generous gift.
LENORENEVERMORE said…
Hellooo...my name is Guilty!
I'm getting better now as I mature...errr older! repented~
I'm Julia said…
ME say anything inappropriate? You're kidding, right?

what SoDear2MyHeart said is perfect... no need to embellish

So, how's it feel to be 30? Remind me please, that was so long ago. I forgot.
I agree with SoDear2MyHeart I couldnt of said it better myself.....I truly do try not to get myself all caught up in what others are saying about people....but once in awhile we all need a good ole "Bitchfest"
Holly said…
Alicia! This is FABULOUS! I loved this. And, as a communications professional, I will tell you that this study is absolutely correct.

Wonderful advice and info...

I don't Twitter but I am in, but you know that already I believe....
Snap said…
Amen! I seem to remember my Granny saying something like "my next door neighbor, bless his heart, doesn't know the first thing about ....". Everything with a *bless their heart* to cover any sin. :D :D :D
. . . love, love your blog.

(Just occurred to me that I may have misled you. Your giveaway was inluded in a post where I ranted about my problems with the comments function on blogger. I found out what I (not blogger) was doing wrong and deleted the post. Your giveaway is mentionned in a comment I make to your comment.)

Keep up the good work. I'll be visiting often. A friend is coming over tonight . . . I will be tracking our "yakety, yak" with your post here in mind.
drollgirl said…
eke!!! i had no idea about this! FOOD FOR THOUGHT, INDEED!!!!!
Junkin' Yaya said…
Hey girlfriend!

YOU WON the June Yaya giveaway!!! :) Just email me your address, so we can get your new Yaya treasures shipped to you!

thanks for all your support this month and the July treasures have now been posted!

Have a great week girlfriend!

xo...deb
Fragrant Liar said…
Now THAT's some excellent food for thought. Or so I heard someone say, but don't say you heard it from me, 'kay?
HODGEPODGESPV said…
ref no poo, did you read the back articals when has written? i think that might resolve some of your issues, has mine. that is why i try to keep up with what she is doing and share it with others. think of the money we could save!

o thanks for visiting my blog. as you can see, i don't get many but i hope people enjoy it when they do.

your's i lovely and i will be back.
HODGEPODGESPV said…
ref lastet posting: your comment are sage.

sandy
Sandra said…
A good piece of advice.
Great post, Alicia! you are so wise. My fiance and I both loathe gossip. My Mom's family are a bunch of gossipers who like to try and run each other's lives, and I am really repelled by it (probably why I'm not very close to my 5 aunts on that side of the family). This was also one of my least favorite things about working in an office. The exception: although I don't seek out celebrity gossip, I do enjoy a little nugget of it here and there.
Liss said…
There is a big different between fact and fiction, venting and gossip. If you are venting you are generally telling something first hand from your experience. If you are gossiping you are telling something you have heard from another source and not sure if it is true.
I have bared the brunt of some gossip a few times. Once when I stated my first job I was 16 and there was a rumor that I had a child. I didn’t find out this till 3 years later. It still amazes me why someone would start something that they know is not true.
Oz Girl said…
How true! Like Hit 40, when someone seems to really enjoy gossiping, I just know they say things about me behind MY back. I try to stay from most people like that. I'd much prefer to say positive things about people or the environment around me.

I start a new job next Weds, so you just know I'll be running into the gossipers and the non-gossipers, and I'll have to keep an eye out who I make friends with! (It's at a hospital and they can be notorious for gossiping!)

I also enjoyed what Snap said, as if saying "bless his heart" makes it ok to talk about someone else. I think I even remember my gramma saying something like that.

Ok, now I'm off to tweet about your contest again! :-)

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