Speaking A New Language


Riding a horse one day, I realized I was talking to him saying things like "stop" "come on, let's go" "get the lead out"...all the while pushing or pulling. We were getting nowhere fast..I was frustrated.

Jump to the next scene where I'm having a conversation with the DH asking him to do something. He's looking back at me with this blank stare in which I can see that nothing is sinking in.

It dawned on me that I wasn't speaking the right language. I needed to learn a new one. With animals, people call them whisperers. I could watch the horse gracefully moving in the pasture, stop on a dime..all the things I wanted. So I needed to learn to speak to him in his language..just as the whisperers do with dogs and other animals.

The same thing with the DH. My language was being blocked. BTW, this rarely happens but in this instance I was really speaking Chinese and he was hearing French! The language communication barrier was down. How many times have I gone someplace, disgruntled by a purchase or product and started to complain only to be greeted with the phrase "talk to the hand"? I've been teaching myself new languages almost everyday. No Rosetta Stone required for these languages. I think they call it common sense language. Are you learning a new language?
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Comments

Lindsey said…
My dog and I speak body language. She can look at me in a certain way and I know exactly what she wants.

And I don't have children yet but I have plenty of friends that do, and I always need them to "translate" what their child has just said to me. It's weird how the parent can know what their child (or dog) is trying to say when no one else has a clue!
So very true. A lot of arguments would never occur if we could stop and take time to speak the right language. I think some people just have the gift. My son really does. He gets along well with a lot of different kinds of people. He had punk friends, sports friends, artsy friends . . . few enemies. I realized a long time ago he just new how to speak the right language to different groups of people. How many times have I realized that I could have avoided conflict if I would have slowed down and found the right language to communicate in!
briannelee said…
I definitely have a different language or voice that I use for work situations. I appear calm and collected on the outside but the whole time I am swearing to myself ;)
This is a good post...and its so true we all need to learn to speak differently to the different kinds of people we encounter thru our life time...and it has nothing to do with learning a new language. Of course then you have those who seem to like to do a lot of "sign" (if you know what I mean)language and well honestly thats certainly not going to get you any where!!! I babysit so I speak alot of baby and kiddo talk..hehe
Isn't this the truth.
Missy said…
This is a very thought inspiring post! You are so right about the languages! I think maybe my DH would respond better if I communicated with him like I do with my dog. Give him lots of "good boy," belly rubs, pats on the head...
drollgirl said…
ugh. i need to. i have been trouble GETTING THROUGH TO THE BOYFRIEND. he just doesn't seem to get it. or i don't relay the information in a language he can understand. and the flapping arms and wild gesticulating don't seem to make it better. sigh.
Hit 40 said…
My husband and I understand each other. Our cats do too.

I am still trying to get my boys on the same line of communication with us.
Relyn said…
I'm just stopping by to say hello. Today is my first day home after two and a half weeks of no blog visiting and very little blog posting. I'm suffering major withdrawals, I assure you. It's good to "see" you again.
SoDear2MyHeart said…
Years ago, I was driving along a busy highway near here when traffic came to a stop. Up ahead I could see two horses running in and out of traffic. Grabbing the only thing in my truck, a belt, I hopped out to see if I could help. There stood one of our fine Rural Electrical Co-op linemen waving both arms (and his ball cap) at the horses and yelling "WHOA! WHOA!" I'm sure you get the picture. I entreated him to "Please stop flailing and stand over there and try to make a noise like an oat... I have horses...please let me see if I can talk them down." Both were standing in tall weeds next to the shoulder with their tails laid up over their backs & nostrils encroaching on their eyeballs. I made myself small, extended one hand, avoided eye contact and crept toward the closest one, all the while quietly talking to him in a monotone. After what seemed like hours, but was only a couple of minutes, I was able to gently stroke his shoulder, until I could slowly stand up next to him and drop my belt around his neck. I was lucky in that I happened to get what appeared to be the ring leader on the first try and his buddy had no stomach for continuing the chase solo. The guy from REMC crept up behind me and said, "Hey, lady...you must be one of them 'Horse Whisperers'! What were you sayin' to him?" I replied, my heart still hammering in my chest..."Oh, simple...'I have a gun in my pocket...one wrong move and I'll drop you where you stand, you sonofabitch!" I think the guy believed me. Learning the language of horses has been a lifelong passion and I'm humbled by how well we can communicate with these beautiful creatures... HOWEVER I would be willing to pay some serious cash if someone could teach me the elusive language of 13 year old daughters! Great post...you always have me thinking!
Audrey said…
I don't have a husband or a horse, but I do understand what you are saying! I am always shocked when I am speaking to someone, and I suddenly realize that they have that blank expression. "How do you not understand?" I am always tempted to ask. And then I wonder how many times I have done the same thing to someone else. Communication is an interesting, mystifying, baffling thing.

I'm taking up cave woman talk!
Judy said…
Ok...not to sure what DH stands for, I am thinking the husband- but what is the"D" for...damn,darn,dumb??? Enlighten this old mind please.
TheChicGeek said…
Great post, Alicia :) So true about language. We all respond to different ways of communication. I've have learned through the years certain things work with one that don't work with another. It's so rewarding when we unlock the secret, isn't it.
Have a Happy Day!
This is so true. I totally have to rethink my words when speaking to my husband. And if I'm trying to get an answer from him, it's like pulling teeth. I have to ask 20 questions to finally get an answer from him. It's exhausting.
I'm Julia said…
Lately, I've been speaking "stupid". It comes & goes. I blame it on the sudafed. I blame it on my slight learning disability. I'm running out of excuses. There's no trick to it really. Simply make certain you're distracted while talking or typing.
Chrisy said…
yes...we could all do with being more multilingual...i know i'm at fault sometimes...due in my mind to the other person not reeeeallly listening to me....but need to focus on my own shortcomings a little...maybe....
Julia said…
This is a fascinating post! YES, I'm still learning the language of my husband and my family. It's so funny when I get mad or frustrated and realizing that not only am I having a difficult time expressing my thoughts, but I can't even start to hear his! I'm learning, ever learning!

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